This fantasy started fleshing itself out as I was responding to comments on my Grad Admissions Make No Sense post, and I decided to put it in a post all its own.
This stems from my desire to eventually snub SuperFuckingRockStarHolyShit school - my top choice for grad study and also the first rejection I received, suggesting I did not make it past the 2nd round cuts. So my goal now is to work my ass off so I can someday snub them. The following is my fantasy of that going down:
Dept Head: "Oooh....who is this amazing rising star of social psych that I'm hearing all about??"
Grad School Head: "JLK, sir. She's just been given superfuckingmegahuge grant to study XYZ all over the world. People are calling her the next Freud/Milgram/Zimbardo/Eagly/Bem."
Dept Head: "Really? But she's so young! That's very impressive. I'm surprised she didn't apply here for grad school, seeing as we are like #3 SuperFuckingRockstarHolyShit program in the world."
Grad school Head: "Well actually she did apply here, back in '08. We rejected her in the second round because her GRE quant score was only in the 53rd percentile, though her verbal was in the 96th. We were her top choice. She didn't even apply to #1 SFRSHS program in the world in Awesome Climate, where her advisor at #4 choice program came from as a grad student."
Dept Head: 'Wow, you guys really screwed the pooch on that one. Are you telling me that I never even saw her application because of a goddamn GRE score, like any of us in psych really give a shit about math when we have all sorts of fancy programs to do stats for us?"
Grad School Head: "I know, it sucks. But we can't let everyone in, otherwise we would no longer be SFRSHS program #3 in the world. We had no way of knowing."
Dept Head: "Didn't she graduate Summa from somewhat-nearby-MRU? I think we have enough contacts over there to get her entire life story. We certainly DID have ways of knowing. You bastards in the grad school really fucked me over here. I hope you know that. Luckily I have a tenure-fast-track faculty position I can offer her with a kick-ass salary from our ginormous endowment that I was going to squander on a new evolutionary psych program. I'm sending her a letter right now."
****JLK opens letter in the mail from SFRSHS school****
JLK: (laughs) Assholes.
(sits down to write response):
Dear Dept Head of SFRSHS program,
I wasn't good enough for you when I was 26 and thought the sun was shining out of SFRSHS school's ass. You are delusional if you think I am going to take my superfuckingmegahuge grant money to your school when a $10k/yr stipend was too much to ask for back in '08.
Kiss my ass. If you have difficulty finding it, it will be in SFRSHS #1 in the world program in Awesome Climate, where I have been guaranteed tenure and a salary higher than yours.