Sleep: The Experiment

The Problem: D's sleep has been going haywire for a couple of months now. He used to sleep from about 10-10:30pm until between 6 and 7am. When he woke up in the morning, I would take him back to bed with me, nurse him, and he would go back to sleep until about 8:30-9. It was glorious. His naps during the day were shorter - he would be awake for 2 hours, sleep for 45-90 mins, and go through this cycle again about 3-4 times during the day. 


Now, he goes to bed about 9-9:30pm. Sometimes, like last night, he will sleep until 5-6am. We have a rule in our house - No Babies In The Bed Until 6:30am. So when he wakes up, I nurse him and try to put him back in his crib once he falls back asleep. Lately, this doesn't work and he wakes up as soon as you put him down. Then I try bringing him back in bed with me. No dice. He kicks me, pulls my hair, whines, does everything BUT go back to sleep. This means that on the best nights, when he doesn't wake up several times in between, I get 6 hours of sleep. And That. Sucks. 


So we get up, he plays. Then he gets exhausted and whiny and goes down for a nap around 10am. This nap has been known to be as long as 3.5 hours. Later in the afternoon he might take another nap for 45mins-1hr, and sometimes if we're lucky we'll get an early evening nap after dinner. 


In summation, the kid's sleep pattern is fucked up and I need to fix it before I lose my mind.


Literature Review: A search of The Googlez, a flip through What To Expect The First Year, Baby 411, and every other baby book, message board, article I can find recommend Crying It Out, The Ferber Method, and various other so-called "Sleep-Training Methods" that others find successful. D does not respond to any of them. He will cry until his little lungs collapse and then not only did no one get any sleep, but I feel guilty as hell on top of that.

Some of the literature suggests that babies at this age begin to change their nap routines - adding and dropping naps, sleeping longer or shorter amounts of time, taking naps at different times. But there seems to be something else going on here because his nighttime sleeping is also being affected.

He is no longer sick. He is not currently teething.

Hypothesis: The disturbance in his sleep seems to coincide with the winter equinox. It has been gradually getting worse. In this amateur scientist's opinion, it is very likely that the lengthening daylight hours have been fucking with my baby's head. This possibility is not mentioned in any of the literature to date.

I believe the fact that my room has an eastern exposure and no curtains means that the earlier sunrise is making it difficult for D to fall back asleep in my room, but that he also won't go back to sleep in his room because he knows it is time to go lay with Mommy in her big bed. I think this is why his first morning nap is so long, because he is making up for the earlier waking time through a routine nap.

I think this problem is compounded by the later sunset, which seems to make him think that bedtime is sometimes actually his evening nap. When he does not have an early evening nap, he tends to sleep until 11:30-12 and then wakes up again and we have to nurse him, rock him, dance him back to sleep.

If we can get him to go back to sleep in the morning after his first awakening, I think it will reset his internal clock back by a couple of hours and his routine will fall back into place.

Materials: Room-darkening curtains to be placed in the master bedroom, since the baby's room already has some. 


Method: Bribe my husband to finally, Finally, Finally put up the curtain rods in the master bedroom so I can hang up the curtains myself. Once they are in place, I will retry the method of bringing the baby into my room to sleep in the morning. Data will consist of whether or not the child returns to sleep, coded as "Yes" or "No" and the amount of the sleep recorded if the response is "Yes." 


Data will be collected beginning on 2/23/11 and continue until Mama gets some motherfucking sleep. 


Check back for the results.


Oh yeah, and wish me luck!

Animal Research and the Social Psych Perspective

I almost didn't get this post out. I got distracted by a request for a movie I can't remember the title of, and completely lost my train of thought between the post over at Dr. Isis and here. But thanks to SciCurious, I finally remembered WTF I was going to say!! YIPPEE!!!

Okay, first, the repost of the comment I made over at Dr. Isis:

I love cats just as much as Dr. J does. I also have cats. I also have a really hard time imagining anyone doing anything mean to animals that are cute. I hate animal abusers and I would punch each and every one of them in the face if I could. I feel the same way about child abusers.

I, myself, personally could never do research involving animals. I couldn't handle it.

BUT:

Animal research is necessary. "Cute" animal research is necessary. I trust the scientific community to treat the animals humanely and subject them to as little pain and suffering as possible. Scientists are humans too, and the types of people who get off on hurting animals don't get PhDs or MDs.

I don't want to see it. I don't even want to read about it. It's kinda like when you're scared of needles and you're about to have blood drawn - you know it has to happen even though you don't like it, so you look away but with the full awareness of what's going on.

Now, a sample reference for what I'm about to launch into:

This is so much easier than APA format. 

Okay. All settled in with your background info? Great. Off we go. 

In psychology, we have found with a fair amount of consistency that when people feel disgust, they become more extreme in their worldviews. Homophobia, anti-abortion sentiments, etc., are all subject to this phenomenon. When people feel disgust, they also feel a greater propensity toward violence that serves to reaffirm their worldview - shooting doctors who perform abortions, hate crimes, blowing up the cars of animal researchers, etc. 

I said above that I don't want to see, hear, think, or read about what may or may not be happening to animals who serve as subjects in research. I, personally, could never engage in that kind of research because I couldn't handle it. 

I hate it. It makes me sad. But it doesn't disgust me. I hypothesize that the difference between the people who just can't stand the thought of animals suffering in any way and the people who attack human beings for the sake of so-called animal "rights" is that the extremists feel disgusted at the thought, and the rest of us just feel sad. 

Also, as I said in my comment, I choose to "look away" from animal research but maintain the knowledge of what is going on. I don't think the extremists are capable of just looking away. In fact, I hypothesize that the kind of disgust that engages embodied moral judgment renders a person unable to look away. 

Willful acts of cruelty against animals are unforgivable, just as willful acts of cruelty against children, the disabled, the elderly, and other vulnerable populations are. All of these are protected by IRBs in their ethics review - they are considered to afford "special" protections because of their vulnerability. 

I think the extremists are forgetting not only the protections that animals are subject to in scientific research, but they are also forgetting that there are no willful acts of cruelty going on. But scientists have been painted as these puppy-bashing, cat-torturing, animal-hating sociopaths in the minds of these people. They have forgotten that you are human beings with hearts, that while yes, you do have a greater tolerance for animals in pain than the average person (you HAVE to), you are not doing it because you LIKE it. 

The extremists have dehumanized you in an effort to reaffirm their worldview. If we were to look at abortion, you would also see that the extremists have reduced women to bodies - to wombs, to temporary housing facilities for baby humans. When disgust is activated as embodied moral judgment, a journey down a slippery slope begins. You believe something is wrong, you are disgusted by it, you feel angry about it, you find a place to direct that anger, you dehumanize what you perceive to be the source, you feel a propensity toward violence, you commit the violence, you justify and feel justified in that violence. 

I wonder if the things these people imagine to be going on inside your labs is a million times worse than what is actually happening. I believe it must be the case. I wonder if there is a way to reduce the disgust by showing them the reality. 

Because I think that's the solution to the problem. The disgust needs to be reduced or eliminated and scientists need to be humanized again in their eyes. Unfortunately, you can't trust these people to come into your labs to actually see what's going on. 

Anyway, back to my main point. Disgust activates in different people for different reasons. I think in the case of Dr. J, she finds herself specifically disgusted by the thought of cats being subject to experiments. If you read through her words, you can almost watch the transition happening:

"sick minded" = signals disgust

"evil" = signals moral judgment

"mo fo bastards" = signals anger

"low life scum" followed by specifics of who qualifies = directing anger

people who abuse animals are "as bad as pedophiles" = beginning to dehumanize

"if I thought anyone strapped one of my cats down and did to them some of the things that apparently go on, I would have no hesitation in what I would do them - it would be extreme but proportional." = propensity toward violence

In order to address this problem and make everyone happy, we first need to figure out how to break the cycle. 

Interview

Well, I had my phone interview for SFRSHS West today. It was an hour and a half long. I think it went really well, but of course I can't be sure. 

I did not BS her, because that's just not my style. If she asked me if I had experience with something and I didn't, I told her so. I think I did well with explaining how my work experience fits with many of the tasks that the person in this position is required to do. 

What always throws me for a loop in interviews is when I am asked a question that has an obvious "right" answer, such as "How do you find you work under pressure?" Truthfully, I am the kind of person who thrives under pressure, but when I give that answer I feel like the interviewer thinks I'm saying that because I know it's the right answer. I hate that, because I AM being honest. 

I also worry that I talk too much in phone interviews. I try to make sure that I am answering the question as clearly and completely as possible, and I also have an awareness that THIS is my chance to make an impression on this person. I find myself struggling with competing internal demands to both be concise and thorough. Thorough almost always wins out. 

I really am perfect for this position. Seriously, I'm not just saying that. I was myself throughout, I made her laugh quite a few times (assuming it wasn't just polite laughter, who knows when it's on the phone), and I think I answered her questions the best I could. I did not mention at all what this position could do for me except when I was specifically asked what my personal goals for this job would be and why I want it. 

If I had it to do over again I would probably try to be a little more concise in my answers, but it's very difficult to do that when you're being asked questions on-the-fly about something you feel very passionate about. This, I think, is a skill I will have to work on over time. 

So it's one step at a time. I think I did well enough to move on to the second round of interviews and will find out around the end of next week. But if I didn't, it will be because they have a candidate with better qualifications than mine and that's okay. 

Goddamn do I want this job. The research coming out of this lab is so GOOD and airtight and so freaking relevant to the world and the big picture! This is research that makes a difference! It would be a privilege to get exposed to this world and to be able to make valuable contributions to the research team at the institution. 

I feel like I'm on American Idol. I made it through the first round of auditions and Simon Cowell was like "This chick can sing, let's send her to Hollywood!" And I've made it past that first week of Hollywood auditions and now I'm waiting to find out if I'm in the top 10 girls. 

Fingers crossed!

Moving Onward and (hopefully) Upward

Well, I did it. I told R2 that I am declining their offer of admission in favor of pursuing research this year. I feel a bit like a snob but I remain convinced that this is the best decision for me and my career goals. 

That said, an "Organizational Announcements" conference call has been scheduled at my company for tomorrow by our regional manager. Hopefully it is not a "you've all been shit-canned" call that will throw me into a full-blown panic attack at not having a back-up plan. 

My interview with SFRSHS West has been scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. After consulting with a couple of bloggers I have the utmost respect for, I think I am about as ready as I will be. It has taken a bit of cognitive effort to focus on what I have to offer them rather than relying on conveying my enthusiasm and passion and hoping that carries me through. The trickiest thing for me, I think, has been changing gears from grad admissions interviews to academic job interviews. I had to learn that they are two completely different things. Really, it is a combination of corporate job interview skills and grad school interview skills and I won't know if I have figured out the right balance of these two skillsets until tomorrow. 

I remain undecided about re-taking the GRE. In a perfect, ideal world, I will get the job at SFRSHS West and that will in turn earn me a slot in their graduate program by my kicking ass and taking names every day I show up at work. But because I did not apply to SFRSHS West last year, I don't know how similar their admissions process is to SFRSHS East and whether they use the same arbitrary cut-offs when screening applicants. This is, of course, not a question I can ask in the interview. LOL. 

The one thing I do know is that if I get this job, I will be networked with the biggest rockstars in social psychology and I should have my choice of R1 programs excluding, in all likelihood, the Ivies. I will learn methods for conducting research in my interest area from the top scholars in that area. I will gain a skillset that will be second to none. I will work my ass off because I will be doing what I love. This is not a job, this is an opportunity and a golden one at that. This is the closest thing to Phil Zimbardo's car breaking down in front of my house as I am likely to get. And actually, this is probably much, much better. 

I also have another possible option cooking at a SFRSHS in a totally unrelated field that I am just as excited about. If I were to get this particular position, I would not only get to learn invaluable research skills, I would also have a very unique scientific experience that most psych researchers would never even dream of. And I'd get to be a part of some very cool, kick-ass science that currently is conceptually way above my pay-grade. 

So that's the update. I am not in a million years expecting to get the job at SFRSHS West, but I also said that about the interview. Here's hoping that my cynicism is driving forces in the universe that are akin to reverse psychology. 

I Hate Being Ignored

JLK's outbox (not actual quotes):

To: MRU Psych Dept Admin

Subject: Psi Chi

Dear MRU PDA,

      I recently received your email regarding Psi Chi inductions. I intended to pursue Psi Chi membership at MRU, but the timing of my psychology courses did not allow me to be eligible until this past December when I graduated. Am I still able to join, or is it too late because I already have my degree?

- JLK

(Sent over a month ago. Still no response. Deadline for Psi Chi inductions has passed.)

To: Professor X

Subject: Grad School Update

Dear Prof. X,

       I hope all is well. I recently checked the status of my application at Southern U, and it appears that they never received your letter of recommendation. I recall seeing a "received" status back in December when you confirmed with me that you sent them all out. Did you receive a confirmation email from the submission system that you could forward to me? I am concerned that they never reviewed my file because it was incomplete. Blah blah blah, other people have received word from SU, blah blah blah. Thank you again for writing on my behalf, blah blah blah.

- JLK

(Sent over a month ago. No response. Also no response to a follow-up email letting Professor X know the status of all my applications including SU.)

To: Grad Student Mentor

Subject: Manuscript

Dear GSM,

       In order for me to complete my portion of the article manuscript, I need to know if you are intending to include all of our data. At the conference, we only presented part 2 of the study. Are we including part 1 in the submission? Also, when would you like the draft completed by?

- JLK

(Sent 3+ weeks ago. No response.)

To: Rockstar Professor/Research Advisor

Subject: Research Project

Dear RP/RA,

      In your book, _____, you mention that no one has examined Z within framework Y. I would like to pursue this experimentally and I have an idea how it can be done. A recent review of the literature did not bring up any contributions to this issue. Do you know if I would still be able to do this at MRU, and if so, are you willing and able to serve as a guide to me during the creation and execution of the project? I would not require funding, but I would need access to resources A, B, and C at MRU. Upon completion, if the findings are relevant and significant, I would like to aim for submission this fall to Journal W or Journal S if you think that is a reasonable goal. 

- JLK

(Sent 3 weeks ago. No response.)

I know that my email is working just fine. I'm starting to think that people look at the sender in their inbox and say, "Eh, not this chick again."

Shouldn't Be This Difficult

New England is the Higher Education Capital of the World. I can't even count the number of colleges and universities within a 1 hour drive from my house. There are Ivies, Little Ivies, WannaBe Ivies, state universities and colleges, etc., etc. Lots of R1s around here. 

So why the FUCK is it so difficult to find a summer research opportunity? 

I spent most of my morning and early afternoon today trying to find internships, fellowships, etc that I could engage in during the summer in order to gain more research experience before heading off to grad school. 

The NIH gave me nothing. The NSF basically said "Fuck you and your psychology." A more general google search brought up lots and lots and lots of biomed internships, but diddly-shit for psychology. 

Now as far as I know, it would be fruitless to start emailing professors from the Us and Cs nearby, because they generally do not take RAs that do not attend the school. That leaves me with my former MRU, which I really, really want to avoid. I had a hard enough time getting an RA slot when I was a student there. 

There are also no graduate courses being offered this summer. I don't even have that option. 

I don't need to be paid. I don't need co-authorship. What I want is some hardcore methods and stats training so I can go into my grad program with a killer skillset under my belt. Because at this point, it's the R2 U or bust. If I can go in ahead of the game, I am more likely to graduate ahead of the game. 

So I'm asking for ideas and advice. I would love to do a research project of my own this summer - I may be able to do that at my former MRU, but I'm not sure. Unless I finish it and get it published or presented, there would be no official record whatsoever of what I accomplished because I am no longer enrolled there. I don't think I could do it on my own without an institutional affiliation. 

I would really prefer to work under a researcher from another college or university or get an internship/fellowship. But all of my searching so far has been fruitless. 

Any thoughts?