For All My Academic BlogPals

I urge you to go check out Adventures In Adulthood, a series of essays by college professor and author John Sheirer. 

This one in particular is my favorite - two of his commencement speeches. I find the second one particularly funny. 

Take Me Away

It is now Thursday, and I have not spoken to my boss since the conference call. She seems to be avoiding calling me back and there is no one else in this company that I can talk to who a) I can trust, and b) can answer my questions. Needless to say, I am very pissed off that I can't just freaking TALK to someone right now.

I am not happy about my new territory because of the circumstances surrounding my being assigned to it. I feel guilty that someone lost their job. I know they gave me this territory because they knew I could handle it, and on some level they probably thought they were doing me some kind of favor given where it is in relation to where I live.

But the bullshit that I have seen and dealt with this week is ridiculous. I am dying to find a new job, whether with one of the SFRSHSs or somewhere else because the stress level I will be dealing with when I return to work in the fall at my current job is going to be incredibly overwhelming. Obviously I can't get into details about why this is the case, so suffice it to say that I am in limbo right now until I get some answers and the company updates its resources to reflect the changes - I no longer have the tools I need in order to do my job successfully and likely won't get them until August.

The flagrant disrespect I experienced this week has made the desire to get a new job even more urgent. I'm tired of the corporate politics and the constant shitting on of junior employees by management. I'm tired of the hypocrisy and the silencing of people with questions. I'm tired of being praised for the passion I have for my job and my customers, but criticized and belittled for it when that passion turns to face corporate and asks "WTF?" It can't just be turned off.

When I love my job and believe in the mission and purpose behind it, I find myself constantly on the lookout for ways to improve things. I've worked for small businesses, medium-sized corporations where I have a lot of autonomy, large corporations, and my current mega-huge corporation where I am given the illusion of autonomy but none of the control that goes along with it. I would make a graph, but I'm too lazy - basically, the larger the company, the more I tend to love the actual day-to-day job that I do. But at the same time, the larger the company, the less satisfied I am with that job over time.

Why? Because when you work for a large company, the seemingly tiniest changes you would like to see made face so much red-tape and politics that your suggestions often get shut down by your immediate supervisor before they have a chance to grow legs. They don't want to deal with it, even if it's a great idea. The daunting nature of a large corporation makes them feel that it's just not worth the effort. But a mega-huge corporation is easy to fall in love with because you find yourself branded. You identify with this company and its mission - I have yet to meet anyone who finds out the company I work for and doesn't recognize the name if not share some memory of having dealt with this company in some fashion at some point in their lives. Those memories are always fond ones. In fact, it was my own memories that led me to find this job in the first place. That kind of brand recognition sucks you in.

But now I'm stuck. If I don't find a new job and soon, I will be forced to return to the aftermath of Pandora's Box this fall. Time is running out though, because research jobs are usually filled by now or will be in a matter of weeks. I don't foresee any new job postings during the summer.

I blogged before about how I NEED a research job. That need has become even more dire. I want to go to work, keep my head down, do my job, and be part of a larger purpose that I both understand and believe in. I want to be in an environment where my questions are about the work that's being done, not about why my expense reimbursement has been cut in half when GPSs are being handed out like popcorn. There are always going to be politics in every single job - academia is certainly no exception. But I anticipate having much more control over the work I do on a daily basis - if I try one method of doing something and it doesn't work, I can try a different one. I don't need to get the approval of 8 managers and a vice president to change a single item on a survey. (Maybe my dissertation committee, sure, but I would have chosen them so I had better give a damn what they think.)

I feel like a die-hard Christian waiting for the rapture - "Please, Academia! Please come and take me away from this nightmare!"

Interview

Well, I had my phone interview for SFRSHS West today. It was an hour and a half long. I think it went really well, but of course I can't be sure. 

I did not BS her, because that's just not my style. If she asked me if I had experience with something and I didn't, I told her so. I think I did well with explaining how my work experience fits with many of the tasks that the person in this position is required to do. 

What always throws me for a loop in interviews is when I am asked a question that has an obvious "right" answer, such as "How do you find you work under pressure?" Truthfully, I am the kind of person who thrives under pressure, but when I give that answer I feel like the interviewer thinks I'm saying that because I know it's the right answer. I hate that, because I AM being honest. 

I also worry that I talk too much in phone interviews. I try to make sure that I am answering the question as clearly and completely as possible, and I also have an awareness that THIS is my chance to make an impression on this person. I find myself struggling with competing internal demands to both be concise and thorough. Thorough almost always wins out. 

I really am perfect for this position. Seriously, I'm not just saying that. I was myself throughout, I made her laugh quite a few times (assuming it wasn't just polite laughter, who knows when it's on the phone), and I think I answered her questions the best I could. I did not mention at all what this position could do for me except when I was specifically asked what my personal goals for this job would be and why I want it. 

If I had it to do over again I would probably try to be a little more concise in my answers, but it's very difficult to do that when you're being asked questions on-the-fly about something you feel very passionate about. This, I think, is a skill I will have to work on over time. 

So it's one step at a time. I think I did well enough to move on to the second round of interviews and will find out around the end of next week. But if I didn't, it will be because they have a candidate with better qualifications than mine and that's okay. 

Goddamn do I want this job. The research coming out of this lab is so GOOD and airtight and so freaking relevant to the world and the big picture! This is research that makes a difference! It would be a privilege to get exposed to this world and to be able to make valuable contributions to the research team at the institution. 

I feel like I'm on American Idol. I made it through the first round of auditions and Simon Cowell was like "This chick can sing, let's send her to Hollywood!" And I've made it past that first week of Hollywood auditions and now I'm waiting to find out if I'm in the top 10 girls. 

Fingers crossed!

New (Related) Question

Using process of elimination, I think I may have figured out who the faculty member is at SFRSHS school that is hiring for a research assistant. 

Is it reasonable to email this professor and ask if it is, in fact, her lab that is hiring? Can I ask this question without somehow getting my hands on and reading all of her recent articles? I assume it would be entirely inappropriate to include my CV as an attachment since that would be going around the requested avenue for the application. 

So you professors out there - can I ask her directly without coming across as stupid? There is nothing about the position on her lab page, but based on the description in the job posting, only her research fits what they're talking about. 

Update & Question

I think I'm over my bullshit. But I'll have to wait and see to find out for sure. 

In the meantime, SFRSHS school is hiring for a research assistant in the psych department, but in a different sub-field. I wasn't sure if I was going to apply, because I don't know how much more rejection from this institution I can take. 

BUT, if I'm not going to end up in grad school in the fall, I figure landing an RA position can't do anything but better my chances in the future. 

So - my question - if there is no name listed on the job listing itself, who do I address the cover letter to? The department?