Dumpster Diving

It's a good thing I'm not a germaphobe. See, my son has a walker that he absolutely loves. Now before all you crazies start telling me how it's "not safe" and "hinders development" and blah blah blah, check your facts and trust that he is never near a flight of stairs, and that n=2 does not a representative sample make.

I typically put him in it when I'm doing stuff in the kitchen such as preparing dinner, putting away dishes, all that domestic shit for which I am somehow responsible even though I also work full-time from home AND take care of the child. He enjoys tooling around the tile floor, terrorizing the cats, staring intently at the flow of water in their fountain kitty dish thing.

But his absolute favorite thing to do is a variation of this:

Fig 1: An accurate representation of my son's favorite kitchen activity.

Yes, he's a Dumpster Diver. A Trash Picker. He has knocked the goddamn thing over I don't even know how many times, gleefully pulling whatever he can get his little paws on out from the trash and then throwing it onto the floor. Fun times. 

So my husband wired the thing underneath the countertop so it can't be tipped. Great, right? Sure, except now he scoots over to it in the walker and LICKS THE EDGE OF THE CAN. 

GRRRRROOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Fig 2: No, that's not my son. But I'm afraid this is where he's headed if I let him.

So I took a picture of him doing it with my phone to show you folks, but it's at least a 15 step process to get it from the phone and onto blogger, and he isn't even licking the can in the picture so I decided it wasn't worth it. 

What kinds of crazy shit does your child do?