Motherfucking Hell of a Day

It is 5:12pm and I am on my second cocktail. That should give you some idea of how this day has gone.

Remember that "organizational announcements" conference call that I mentioned last week? Yeah, well that call was to announce that my company is closing half of its regions and laying off a shitload of people. My job, thankfully, is safe. So while I felt extremely badly for the people who lost their jobs, I didn't let it upset me too much. Every year they do some shit like this. This particular year just happened to be the worst so far.

But today I had another conference call with the other members of my sales team and our boss. It was mostly talking about the game plan for our "new" region and blah blah blah. Out of nowhere, my boss says "Is JLK on this call?" I took the phone off mute and said "Yeah, I'm here."

She then said "Just so you know, your new territory is State That You Live In But Don't Work In." I was a little taken aback and asked "Does that mean I no longer cover State I Have Worked In This Entire Time?" She said "Correct." I then started asking questions about what, exactly, that meant in terms of work relationships and all that. She responded to me like a mother trying to calm down an upset child, and I wasn't even upset. I asked, "Who is going to cover SIHWITET?" She replied, "Let's wait until everyone finds out about their new territories and we can discuss this then."

WTF? You tell ME on a conference call about my new territory, but don't share any other info with anyone else? She then changed the subject to what is so great about our region - the relationships that we've worked to build with our customers. I was appalled and made the mistake of piping up with "But I've spent 3.5 years building relationships with my customers and you just told me that I am no longer their rep!"

Apparently in my company, this constitutes being "an emotional bitch." Because 15 minutes after this call ended I received a phone call from the regional manager - my boss's boss. I was told that I am lacking "professional maturity" and that I shouldn't have been so "emotional" on a conference call in front of the team. I was also told that I am "selfish" because "at least you have a job."

It turned into this whole fucking unnecessary drama that ended with the regional manager wanting me to verify my whereabouts to explain why I needed to hang up on the original call. I have never had to PROVE where I was to management. EVER. He thought that I just hung up on the call in a tizzy and made up an excuse about seeing a customer in order to justify it.

I am so fucking pissed off right now I don't even know what to do. My boss calls me out on a conference call to tell me that I have been moved into what used to be a different region, I'm not allowed to ask questions, and I'm being "emotional" by doing so??? FUCK YOU, Company I Work For!!!!

I realize that I have always had the kind of tone in my voice that causes people to think I'm being bitchy when in fact I'm not. I get that. But all I could think was "If you knew HALF of the shit I WANT to say to you right now, you might have more respect for my fucking level of restraint! How DARE you question whether I was actually seeing a customer or not??"

Fuck corporate America, seriously. I have completely fucking had it with this bullshit. I'm tired of fearing for my job and having a minor heart attack every time a conference call is scheduled at the end of May, right before our new fiscal year starts. With the performance I have put into this job, I would have tenure in academia. I feel AWFUL for the people who lost their jobs due to the fucking greedy-ass shareholders of my company, but don't tell me that I'm not allowed to be upset because I should be "grateful" that I have a fucking job. Go fuck yourself.