Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Here's The Thing...

When you have kids, your shit just doesn't matter. And that can be a hard thing to take.

For example, if today you find out (through EMAIL!) that your grandfather died last night from a heart attack, your baby does not know or understand that your day has gone to shit.

So you must suck it up, ignore your sadness, bite back your anger about the email part, make the phone calls you were asked to make, nurse your son, soothe him when he cries, deal with his temper tantrums.

And none of it can be made about you. None of it. Because it's not ABOUT you anymore, ever, until your child is grown up and finally sees you as a another adult. And by that time, I'm guessing, most of us have learned to cope with our shit in silence and behind closed doors.

Cheers, Grandpa. I love you and I will miss you. I thank you for teaching me about gardens, orchids, birds, and woodland animals. I thank you for watching my fashion shows and looking at my home designs. I thank you for your patience and loving acceptance. As an American, I thank you for your service and sacrifice in the Navy during WWII. I'm sorry I didn't visit more. I'm sorry I didn't listen more. I'm sorry that I just never seemed to have time. I hope that you forgive me. May you rest in peace.

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8 comments:

Comrade PhysioProf said...

Hugs, JLK. My grandpa was in WWII also, in the Army Air Corps. I miss him.

LabMom said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Daily Dose of Dahl said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandfather.

ScientistMother said...

I'm sorry darling, for your loss and how you were told. Many hugs.

Natalie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. :( It's so hard coping with anything when you have a child who needs you.

Psych Post Doc said...

So sorry for your loss. XO

Micro Dr. O said...

I miss both my grandpas still so much. Lots of (((((hugs))))) I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

Selena said...

I am so very sorry. I was going to mesasge you today and see where you've been lately.

It totally sucks that babies dont understand but I swear he will get a little older and you will be able to say "Mommy needs a few minutes of mommy time" and he will oblige you (sometimes).

Hugs and kisses. If you need to unload, plese feel free to message me on facebook. Although we hardly know eachother I consider you my friend and still want to get together soon.

<3 Selena

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