Monday, November 30, 2009

This Post Has Been Brewing....

Some may think I'm being brazen, given that my child is still unborn and yet I have very strong opinions on this topic. Brazen or not, I have given a lot of thought to and done a lot of research on this issue.

First, to get you caught up, please check out this article.

Part One: The Parent Police

I hate people who think they have the right, responsibility, or reason to tell a parent how they should raise their children. FUCK you. That's my opinion on these assholes. Choosing not to breastfeed is not a mortal sin. Letting your 9 yr old child ride the subway alone in a city with the 297th (or some crazy number like that) lowest crime rate in the country does not mean you deserve to be in jail. Feeling a bit resentful that getting pregnant requires you to give up your body, your mind, drinking, smoking, and the other fucktillion things that warrant vigilance does not mean you're a selfish person and shouldn't have children. Fuck you assholes who believe you have the right to say otherwise.

The GUILT that has been imposed on parents in this country is the primary culprit for the insanity that has taken hold of parenting practices in the last decade. The secondary culprit is the spreading of the nonsense belief that there is such a thing as a PERFECT parent.


Which brings me to....

Part Two: Fundamentalist Parenting

What is it with extremes in this world? When did we decide that we could learn how to raise children by reading books written by strangers?

The child-worshipping culture that has emerged is no doubt harmful and handicapping to an entire generation of children who can't handle failure and are unable to make their own decisions, and who feel entitled to having no boundaries. These kids are likely to be useless adults - with finger-pointing as their favorite hobby.

And now we have what's being called "Free Range Parenting." First, I should say that this particular parenting style is a gazillion times closer to the kind of parent I want to be than the so-called "helicopter" parenting.

But, The Hypocrisy!!!

"Become a "Free Range Parent! Learn why this is the BEST way to raise your child! Buy the book! Buy the CD! Read the blog and the newsletter! Buy the t-shirts and the 'best' handmade classic toys!"

Once again, we need someone ELSE to tell us how to raise our children! And we wonder why douchebags in the park feel entitled to judge your non-organic snacks!

Part 3: The Good Old Days

This is my favorite email forward ever. I've had it for almost 4 years and never fail to be reminded of it when I think about becoming a parent. Enjoy and please feel free to comment.

"TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, AND EARLY 80'S!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking .

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because.....


We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem .

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned....



tideliar said...

Amen sister!

PhizzleDizzle said...


Comrade PhysioProf said...

All true, except this:

no video games at all

When I was a kid, we had Pong and then Atari. TANK BATTLE kicked ass: PCHEW! PCHEW! PCHEW!

Abel Pharmboy said...

Yeah, been there. I just took our 7-year-old to McDonald's and didn't feel a bit of guilt about it.

Yes, it's written by a stranger but I HIGHLY recommend the book, Three Martini Play-Date (i.e., when the hell did we need playdates??!?!?!) It's partly tongue-in-cheek but is mostly in the spirit of saying enough already with the hyperparenting.

And now...I'm going to go kiss the dog and then kiss my daughter.

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